Attraction doesn’t always follow a straight path. For some, it curves, shifts, and even fades altogether—only to return in a different form. While that experience might sound confusing, it’s far more common than most people realize. And yes, it has a name: abrosexuality.
Writer Emma Flint didn’t have that word for most of her life. For three decades, she felt like she was floating between identities, never quite sure where she belonged. In a powerful piece published by Metro UK in July 2024, she shared her journey—one marked by constant change, inner conflict, and, eventually, a sense of peace.
At 32, Flint reflected on years of identifying as a lesbian, only to find herself attracted to men at times, and then to no one at all. The cycle repeated. And with each shift, came uncertainty.
“I felt lost, as if out at sea,” she wrote. “I also felt like a fraud because of how much I changed my identity when chatting with loved ones.”
It wasn’t indecision, she clarified—it was something deeper. Her sexuality, as she discovered, wasn’t fixed.
“One day I felt like I was a lesbian, yet days or weeks later, I’d feel more aligned with bisexuality. My sexuality was fluid.”
Everything changed the day she came across the term abrosexual in an online forum. Suddenly, things made sense. There was a name for what she’d been experiencing, and that name gave her validation.
“Finally,” she said, “I felt seen.”
Abrosexuality is still a lesser-known identity in the LGBTQ+ spectrum. Healthline describes it as a form of sexual fluidity where attraction can shift over time—not just in terms of who someone is attracted to, but whether they feel attraction at all. It’s different from identities like bisexuality or pansexuality, which are defined by the gender(s) someone is attracted to. Abrosexuality, instead, focuses on the changing nature of that attraction.
Flint explained it like this:
“I love the person, rather than their gender… It doesn’t matter if my sexuality fluctuates while I’m with them.”
Still, even with this clarity, the response from others hasn’t always been understanding. She’s often met with resistance from people who demand she “pick a lane,” as though consistency is required for legitimacy.
“Just because you don’t know or understand an identity doesn’t make it less authentic,”
she said.
