Many families still adhere to this guideline: avoid discussing politics during dinner. And there’s a solid reason for that. Political views can be intensely personal — and at times, they can completely fracture family relationships.
Couldn’t even look at her husband
Last year, author Andrea Tate recounted her experience in HuffPost, detailing how her husband’s support for Donald Trump turned the holiday season into a contentious affair.
Before election day, Andrea was aware that her husband had cast his vote for the Republican party, and he was aware that she had voted for the Democrats.
However, when Trump’s victory was confirmed after the November election, everything shifted. Andrea found herself unable to get out of bed, endlessly scrolling through social media and occasionally unfriending those who hadn’t supported the Democratic candidate.
”God Bless America. God bless #45, 47.”
”It received a few likes, and some commenters joined in his celebration. He was downstairs making coffee while I was upstairs avoiding him. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him — or even look at him,” Andrea expressed.
Thanksgiving and Christmas… cancelled
Instead, she opted to send him a message:
”Please take the post down out of respect for me and all my liberal writer friends.”
But she didn’t stop there.
As she looked forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas, she added:
”Also, please tell your family I love them, but I won’t be attending Thanksgiving, and I won’t be hosting Christmas. I need some space.
Later that day, after her husband attempted to alleviate the tension with a cup of coffee and some reassurances, Andrea finally addressed him:
“I apologize for the holidays, but I can’t hold back my feelings like I did with Hillary,” she stated. “I don’t want to show disrespect to your parents or your brother and his family in their home, or in our home, so this is the best approach. No drama. You can visit them. Honestly – I refuse to be in a room with 15 people who voted for Trump.”
For many, this may appear to be an overreaction.
However, Andrea clarifies her position as a moral line she simply cannot cross.
“I will not open gifts from individuals who supported a party that has discussed creating internment camps and mass deportations,” she expressed. She further stated that she “will not serve the turkey” to those who, in her opinion, have backed the stripping away of women’s reproductive rights or the endangerment of vulnerable communities.
“I know he is a good man..”
Andrea was taken aback that her husband didn’t contest the alteration in their holiday plans. Typically, this would have been a significant point of disagreement considering his closeness to his family.
Deep down, he seemed to grasp what the election results signified for her. She appreciated his empathy and felt thankful for it. She clung to that feeling of understanding like a lifeline as she navigated how they would proceed with their marriage.
“I know he is a good man and he would do anything for a family member or friend, which makes his actions even more frustrating and painful,” she noted.
In spite of all the strong emotions and Andrea’s resolute choices, her husband did not dispute her decision or take down the post.
She wanted to express something that could persuade him to reverse what she perceived as a mistake, but she understood that if her words came off as too forceful or her tone too filled with rage, it would lead to nothing.
“I also recognized that I couldn’t alter what had occurred — only what is to come. Only my actions now. What I choose to accept and what I vow to continue fighting for. And to approach it all with sincerity and love and, yes, anger as well,” Andrea revealed.
Andrea’s narrative isn’t solely about one family’s disrupted holidays — it reflects the profound political rifts affecting households nationwide.
When do personal beliefs take precedence over tradition? Should love and familial bonds endure despite political disagreements, or are some divides too vast to overcome?
As families gather for their upcoming holiday meals, these inquiries are more urgent than ever. Where do you set your boundaries — and can a single social media post truly alter the trajectory of your relationships?
